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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27739636">switchblade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/donkeykongsmario/pseuds/donkeykongsmario'>donkeykongsmario</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fairy Tail</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Hospitals, One Shot, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:14:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27739636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/donkeykongsmario/pseuds/donkeykongsmario</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a puddle beneath her feet and he knows it's not from the rain. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bora/Juvia Lockser, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>switchblade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>~ love me like you do ~</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>Gray's been a paramedic for what feels like forever when he sees her the first time.</p>
<p>Her hair is blue, blue, <em>blue</em>, and her eyelashes are far too long, far too full. There's something about her that feels unnatural, that feels broken and delicate, and her skin is so pale that Gray swears he sees veins on the inner wrist of her arm. She takes the medical form from Mirajane with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes, a quirk of her lips dragging Gray's attention from his own forms because, dammit, he's seen bruises before, but this girl has definitely tried to covers hers up.</p>
<p>It didn't work.</p>
<p>"You know you can tell me," Mirajane offers and the girl looks at her, blinks, "you can tell the police."</p>
<p>Her smile is soft and innocent, wary, when she answers, "Juvia was robbed."</p>
<p>Mirajane doesn't say a word and neither does Gray. Instead, he watches as she sits next to a man with curling purple hair and a confident smile that he hates. The man places his hand on the girl's shoulder and she goes rigid, but, of course, she doesn't pull away. She leans in.</p>
<p>Gray snaps a pen and, for once, he doesn't feel sorry about it.</p>
<p>Cana rests her elbows on the counter in front of him and whispers, deathly silent and scared of saying too much, "It's not the first time she's been here."</p>
<p>Gray looks back to the girl, watches the way her boyfriend whispers in her ear and digs his fingers into her shoulder, and he shrugs. He wants to protect the girl. He wants to help. It's his job, but, honestly, he can't. She wouldn't want him to.</p>
<p>He fills out his forms and passes them to Cana, bending down to pick up his gear before flashing her a smile that is far more confident than he feels. "Well," he says in lieu of a proper greeting, "duty calls."</p>
<p>He doesn't turn back to see the way the girl quivers when her boyfriend kisses her cheek, tells her he loves her.</p>
<p>Gray doesn't want to know.</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>~ bleeding love ~</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>Gray's taking a deep sip of what has to be the best cup of coffee he's had in ages when she walks in.</p>
<p>She's wearing jeans and a hoodie that is way too large and the guy behind her, a pierced hulk of a man with a mane of hair that Gray knows has to be difficult to manage, seems to loom in her wake. The man, who walks behind her in a way that Gray thinks speaks of bodily protection, grumbles and growls in a way that Gray believes only a few people can.</p>
<p>"...he's a piece of shit...," Gray makes out when they walk by him, her smile firmly in place and the pierced man's brow pinching further and further, "I swear you can do better Sprinkler."</p>
<p>"He loves Juvia," she says it like it explains everything and, <em>fuck</em>, Gray knows who she's speaking of, whose hoodie she's wearing, <em>why</em> she's wearing it, "and Juvia loves him too." Her final words, Gray thinks, are said in the tone of someone who is uncertain, someone who is grasping at the meaning of love and hoping they are right. Gray doesn't think she is. She can't be.</p>
<p>The pierced man runs a hand through his hair and Gray takes a large sip of his coffee, lets the liquid burn his throat, "He's cheated on you several times, already. Several. He doesn't fucking know what love is."</p>
<p>Gray makes to step away when the girl laughs. It's the sound of twinkling bells, of hindsight, of self-loathing that doesn't belong.</p>
<p>"He's the only man who'll ever love Juvia."</p>
<p>Gray pulls his jacket over his neck and practically runs from the shop. He wants to help, say something, but he knows it's not his place and he wishes it was. He doesn't think anything he says will help.</p>
<p>Next time, Gray swears, he'll say something.</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>~ call me maybe ~</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>Her name is Juvia and there's a puddle beneath her, a punishing act that her boyfriend sought to give her, and, now, Bora (because that's the bastard's name) is running his hands through his hair and apologising, begging Gray and Erza to save her. Natsu is growling on the side, threatening to call the cops and tell them to hurry the-fuck up, but Lucy calms him down and says they need to save her first.</p>
<p>She's right, of course, and Gray can't help thinking that, although it's raining outside, the puddle beneath her body doesn't come from nature. He bends down beside her and rips apart her jacket, nods at Erza, and, then, they're working with a machine and Gray is pumping at her chest and dammit, dammit, <em>dammit</em>!</p>
<p>If only he said something.</p>
<p>It takes what feels like forever, an eternity of pumping and working at machines, hoping, but, finally, her eyes snap open and she's coughing up blood. Gray turns her to the side and waits until she's done; until she's breathing, and then he turns her around, smooths her hair away from her face. She looks up at him with fear, uncertainty.</p>
<p>It takes everything in him to smile like it's okay, like it's not partly his fault.</p>
<p>Her boyfriend, Bora, rushes forward, all relieved smiles and thankful tears. "Juvia!" He calls out and Gray loses it.</p>
<p>"Shut up," Gray's voice is emotionless, cold, bitter and angry and ruthless. "Just," he grinds his teeth together and swears he will control himself, "shut up."</p>
<p>Bora's eyes are void, deadly when he looks to Gray and curls his lips. "I'm sorry," he says and Gray's barely restraining himself. He closes his eyes and reminds himself that he has to stay by Juvia's side. He has to. It's his job. Calm the patient, ignore the jackass. It sounds so simple and, yet...</p>
<p>"That's <em>my </em>girlfriend," Bora snaps and Gray's standing, fists tight at his side.</p>
<p>"Yes," Gray concedes, "but you're also the one that almost killed her. She wouldn't have needed me here if it hadn't been for you." He takes a step forward and Erza is standing, ready to restrain. Gray knows he shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be picking fights especially when Juvia is slowly forcing herself to rise from the floor, shirt still open and bruises visible to all, but Gray can't help himself. He can't.</p>
<p>The door is thrown open with a bang and Laxus enters, badge flashing and body tight with what Gray supposes, and knows, is restraint.</p>
<p>Natsu nods to Bora and growls out, "That's him. He almost drowned his girlfriend." He swallows and, somehow, Gray knows that what he says next will make it so much worse. "He's also the guy that tried to rape Lucy when we first met. He's the jackass that got away."</p>
<p>Juvia's eyes are wide and heartbroken, destroyed, when she chokes out a sob.</p>
<p>Gray wishes he had said something.</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>~ always ~</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>Gray doesn't expect to see her again.</p>
<p>He didn't even think he would, but, somehow, there she is. It's been months, a year, and Gray has almost forgotten. Almost. There's a puddle beneath her feet and he knows it's not the rain. It's too red. Too thick.</p>
<p>Her wrists are slit in even lines and there's a switchblade in her trembling hand. The blood is still dripping off her skin.</p>
<p>She looks at him with soulless blue eyes and Gray drops his medic bag at his feet, rushes to catch her as she topples forward. Her skin is far too pale, far too clammy when she smiles up at him and says, "Juvia doesn't want to live anymore."</p>
<p>He eases her fingers off the blade and lets it drop at their feet before he reaches down to pick her up, sweep her legs out from underneath her, and start carrying her to the van that he knows Erza is prepping. His steps are faster than they ought to be, but, rushing, Gray thinks, is his only option. He can't let it be too late. Not again.</p>
<p>"Then, why did you call us?" he asks and Juvia laughs, a broken sound that reeks of daggers and blood.</p>
<p>"Juvia doesn't want to die either," she is limp in his arms but, when she smiles at him, Gray thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, "Juvia just wants to feel something."</p>
<p>Her body jostles against his as they move and, stupidly, Gray thinks she smells like a meadow after a storm. A dream that's always too far out of reach.</p>
<p>"Feel something for me."</p>
<p>It's a promise.</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>~ whole new world ~</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p>He's there when she wakes up and it's a slow process, an uncertain thing, but, blindly, they stumble forward. Gray befriends her friend Gajeel and they book her into a mental hospital, get her on medication, and they wait. They wait and they wait and they wait.</p>
<p>Gray is sitting in the hallway when Gajeel turns to him and asks, grumbling, "Is this about guilt?"</p>
<p>Gray leans his head against the wall and chuckles. "Yeah," he admits, looking into the room where Juvia and Lucy are laughing, where Erza is trying to show them her clothing designs. "At first, it was. I saw Juvia with Bora before all the shit went down, I saw the scars, and I ignored it. So, yeah, I felt guilty. Especially when I saw she had tried to kill herself."</p>
<p>"And now?"</p>
<p>"Now," Gray smiles and his heart, his very being, sings, "I found a girl worth fighting for. Juvia is my life and, if I can get her to love herself, then I think it's worth it."</p>
<p>"Okay."</p>
<p>It's a start.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>repost from fanfiction.</p>
<p>original note: This one's for everyone who ever felt worthless, who let someone else tell them they're nothing. You're not. You're beautiful and worth it and, out there, there's someone who cares for you. There's someone who loves you.</p>
<p>It might be someone like Gajeel. A friend. It might be a Gray - someone who'll come to love you, but there's always someone. Always.</p>
<p>And, if you still think there isn't, I care.</p>
<p>Message me if you're really struggling because I promise you that I'll be your ear, your friend.</p>
<p>In other news, this story is basically a mashup of a few subjects. Firstly, depression and abuse. Secondly, the greatest problem of modern society: it's not my problem. I promise you that, sometimes, reaching out is the right thing to do. Gray had every opportunity to do so at the start of this story and I know he would have, but, honestly, I decided to let him adopt the "they'll just ignore me" mindset that many of us have had. I think we, as the human race, need to work on this issue. The third topic was love.</p>
<p>In Fairy Tail, Juvia's love for Gray was instant, but, in this story, I thought that it would be better to leave it at a they're still learning to love each other level. Juvia, certainly, has a long way to go before she can fully love herself (and Gray). Gray, of course, has had the time to fall in love with her (behind the scenes because this is a story of moments), but he's not pushing her because, darn it, Juvia has issues.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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